Goals and Egos

4 years ago: “Daddy, I want to become a vetrinarian. Is it hard to become one?”.  How cool is that? The kid wants to take care of other beings in need of care. The question if it is hard to become a vet, well… of course you want to know if the road ahead may be hard. Since the kid doesn’t really know vets in person, how else then by asking can he find out how hard it can be?

2 years ago: “Daddy, my teacher and class mates tell me I am good with words. They asked me to negotiate with the headmaster to reopen the playground. I also asked him if we could have a pupil forum to bring our issues to the schoolboard attention. I think I don’t want to become a vet anymore. I want to become a politician”. Mindblowing…. The kid wants to help others by offering them his talent with words to defend their cause.

Last year: “Dad, I’m not so sure about becoming a politician, maybe becoming a reporter would be better for me. What do you think?” That made sense… “words and reporter” sounds much like “water and fish” to me. “I’d like to be a sports reporter, so I can see all the games of my favourite football team”. No word about helping others, though. But maybe the kid doesn’t see yet, how a reporter helps others. He’ll find out soon.

10 months ago: “Dad, I want to thank you for the times that you coached me. I do well at school, everyone comes to ask me stuff and I can usually help them. I break up fights and make people friends again. I want to be a coach, like you”.  Flabbergasted and proud are only feable terms to describe the state I was in….. for 10 seconds. “But dad, what does a coach do exactly and is it hard to become coach?”

So, the kid changes his goals. So, he is searching. He knows a few of his talents, he follows his heart. The world changes, he learns new things every day. His perspective on the world changes with every new input and, luckily, that perspective is not blurred by an ego. He can let go of a goal, alter it and feel comfortable with it.

What happened with us, grown-ups? Oops…. I almost opened that box with memories of loss, missing and reasons for things going wrong. Even the box of memories of success and causes thereof looks pretty outdated. The world has changed, correction: changes considerably. I’m going to talk with the kid and listen.

Action list for today:

• Dump the boxes with memories
• Dump the box with ego
• Go find the kid and learn how he does his “flex-goal” thing.